Carolyn's First Day

Carolyn’s first day of school began really, really early. I knew it would because she had warned me that she would wake up really early and then come crashing into my room and tell/yell me that “SURPRISE!!!!!! IT IS MY FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!! WAKE UP, WAKE UP, WAKE UP!!!!!” By the way, think of the most excited you’ve ever been as a child, maybe on a Christmas morning or your birthday or something. Multiply that by at least 10, and you have some idea of how excited Carolyn was for today. But 4am was just too early, and so I sent them (of course Lilia got up with Carolyn) back to bed and then made my way back to my own bed, and would have happily gone back to sleep had Elijah not woken up just then. So, after feeding Elijah and putting him back to bed, I was snuggling with JT and just drifting off when I heard someone moving about. I told myself that it could be the cat. Or maybe one of the girls needed to use the bathroom. Or maybe someone was getting into mischief. Okay, to be fair, that was actually my first thought, but I was so warm and sleepy that I tried to delude myself that something entirely innocent and mess-free was going on. It was Lilia, innocently but in no way mess-free, making a sandwich for herself. If you would like try Lila’s recipe for “Syrup Sandwiches”—yes that’s what she calls her creation--just take two slices of bread, lightly smash them together and then pour a very liberal amount of a fruit syrup of your choice on the top. You’ll know it’s enough when it starts drizzling off the edges of the bread. We had boysenberry on hand, so that’s what she used. (Quick side note—I have a feeling that I’ll be cleaning up boysenberry syrup smears on random parts of the house for months to come.) When Carolyn did get up, she was a dream to get ready for school. She had picked out her outfit over a month ago and she didn’t fuss at all when I was doing her hair, even though I took longer than usual. She held her hands still while the glitter nail polish dried and she held still while I sprayed glitter in her hair as the finishing touch. (It’s all about the bling, baby.) I asked Carolyn if I could take her picture as she got on the bus, and she replied, not unkindly, “Sorry—but no.” What if I missed her so much while she was at school? “Do something with Lilia,” thoughtful pause, “Or Elijah.” Could I pick her up early from school? “No. Rules are rules. That’s what my teacher says. I think.” I had determined to take a lot of pictures anyway, but the kitten weaseled her way out of the house in a blur of white fur, and we spent the time chasing the cat around the yard and only got a few shots of Carolyn. And in the few pictures I was able to take, Carolyn was doing this freaky, gumby-like back bend, for reasons known only to her. The bus didn’t come to our house as we were explicitly told it would, but instead to a house down the street, so I took Carolyn by the hand and made a mad dash for it . We barely made it in time. They had closed the doors and were ready to drive on when we got there. And I didn’t even get a picture of her getting on the bus. (JT missed this part, which was the whole point of his going to work late, because he was chasing the cat.) But she’s coming home in the next 15 minutes , and I can’t wait to see how her first day went, and maybe I can get a cute picture of her getting off the school bus and maybe even a post school day interview. I hope everything was even better than she thought it would be.

Shaping Up Except That I Eat Horribly

JT got me an elliptical machine for my birthday. It is possibly the nicest gift I have ever received in my life, and I need to use it more. At first I didn't use it because I had just had Elijah. Then I didn't use it because if there was ever free time, I used it for napping. It's possible, and even likely that using the elliptical might have alleviated some of my fatigue, but when I'm so tired, the last thing I want to do is a work out. Recently I decided that it had been decorating my living room long enough, and I should give it a go. I mean, I used to dream of owning one of these, and here it was, almost literally the "big elephant" in the room that I was avoiding. Now I just need to find the right time of the day to work out on it. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I'm lazy and that if I really wanted to work out, I would find the time. And you're right. I am lazy, and let me tell you it is crippling. However, it really is hard to find the ideal time. The children are NEVER napping at the same time and Elijah does not enjoy watching me. He screams and screams until his face is cherry red and I can see veins throbbing on his scalp (he's still bald). And even though he's crying, he's not sad. His tears are like steam from his rage, that have condensed. If that makes any sense. The girls, on the other hand, LOVE to watch me work out. They'll get as close as they possibly can without getting biffed.....(so far). They like to call themselves my "cheer friends" and shout out encouragements like, "Good job, Girl!" (much like you would a dog) and "Wow, you are going so fast, Mama!...well, maybe you could go faster...no, you're going fast enough" and "You look tired. Maybe you should stop now." By the way, back in the day before I had children, before I was married, when I could squander money on myself without any guilt whatsoever, I had a gym membership and sometimes, a personal trainer. No personal trainer has ever told me that I looked tired and should stop, even when I did and probably should have. Anyway, and then when they get tired of cheering me on, they want to chat. My breathing is labored, my face feels hot and no doubt looks unattractively red. My hair is wet with sweat that I can feel dripping down my neck and back and my legs are burning--and Carolyn is asking random questions, possibly to hear me pant and gasp out the answer so that she can say, "What was that, Mama? What did you say?" so that I can try again and again to answer her. I think the whole thing is more of an entertainment thing than it is an educational or enlightening thing. I've tried having them watch a movie or TV show in my room, but nothing is quite as entertaining to them the "Mom Show". Also? It is so hard to work out to Sesame Street. It has no rhythm, except for when it has bad rhythms to work out to.

Another thing I'm doing to try to get in shape is walking more. Okay not really. Actually I'm walking more to save gas, but the benefit of being more active is still there. My mother-in-law gave me a two seated stroller that worked great when I had 2 children. Now that I have three, we make it work. Carolyn and Lilia squeeze into the back seat while Elijah is comfortably tucked into the front seat. At first Carolyn was a big fan of the arrangement because otherwise she would have had to hoof it and Lilia was fine with the arrangement because she loves to do whatever Carolyn is doing and if she can do it with Carolyn, all the better. Now Carolyn has gone so far as to suggest that Elijah "stay home and watch himself" while we walk to the library. She also tries to trick Lilia into wanting to walk all the way there, while Carolyn rides in the stroller with queenly grace. When I try to encourage Carolyn to walk, she says that her legs are too tired. So I've made a new rule that if one walks, they both walk, and if one rides, they both ride. This makes for a cramped ride for them and a heavy load for me to push, as it's a very heavy stroller, even without passengers, but it's the most fair thing that I can think of so far. Meanwhile Elijah is a happy little clam. He loves going on walks. By the way, doesn't he look reproachful and maybe just a little harassed in his picture? That's because I tried several times to get a cute picture of him wearing that shirt, which says, "Product of Idaho". (It was given to Lilia from the hospital when she was born, but she never wore it.) I would get him to smile, and then the red light would go on and he would frown at it. It took a long time for me to give it up. Poor Elijah.

When Imaginary Snakes Attack

What do you do when your two year old has an irrational fear of snakes? To be fair, I guess it's not really that irrational to be afraid of snakes. It is frustrating when they're imaginary snakes though. It all began Sunday night, at 11:00pm, when Lilia woke up screaming hysterically about snakes (I didn't get her back to sleep until 2am, yikes!) and since then she's been having panic attacks throughout the day. We can be anywhere in the house and all of a sudden she'll startle and then begin crying and screaming about snakes. How much she hates them, how much they scare her, how sneaky they are, etc. Sometimes she'll be so convinced that there are snakes in the room she is in that she'll make me carry her into another room, fiercely clinging to me like a baby monkey and wailing in terror the entire way. This morning we had a tasty, if not entirely healthy, breakfast of waffles and Almond Rocca steamers while Elijah patiently waited for us to finish. Actually "patient" is not Elijah's middle name (it's Desmond) and he was pretty indignant the entire time. So indignant in fact, that I felt guilty for letting him cry the whole time and after breakfast I explained to the girls that it was now Elijah's turn to eat and they needed to be quiet, calm and nice to each other and not get into anything (HA!) while I nursed him. As soon as I had Elijah swaddled and happily feeding, Lilia let out a shriek of terror and we began a continuing cycle of me calming her, getting her settled, going back to finish feeding Elijah, Lilia waiting until he was almost asleep and them BAM!! she was climbing all over me, frightened beyond reason and screaming in my ears, and the cycle started again. We did this 5 times, but it felt more like 50. I ended up *Bad Mommy Alert* strapping her into her booster chair so she couldn't follow me, and giving her paper with markers to draw with and then I whisked Elijah away into his room and so that I could get him down for the nap that he desperately needed at this point. My hope was that the markers, which are normally forbidden--look at the walls in my house and you'll know why--, would distract her and she would be able to calm down and I would be able to get Elijah to sleep. The whole time Elijah and I were in his room, Lilia continuously screamed for me, without seeming to, or needing to, catch her breath. We have a white noise machine in Elijah's room to help drown out noise that the family makes, and it did a pretty good job this morning, but I could still hear Lilia, and with every "MOMMMMM!!!!!" I could feel my shoulders tensing until they practically touched my ears. I was eventually able to calm Lilia down by taking a bath with her until she announced that there were no snakes in the tub. (And thank goodness for that!) Carolyn alternates between exacerbating the situation by making snake sounds, and then insisting she was making innocent "s" sounds, to helping by coaxing Lilia to play with her, promising that there will be no snakes in their game. Any suggestions? I'm open to any and all :-) Also, I don't have a picture of snakes to use and snakes are really icky, so I decided to post an Easter picture of my kids instead. It was supposed to be down here, but I accidentally put it on the top of this post right under the words "When Imaginary Snakes Attack" and I can't delete it. Just so you know, I don't consider my children snakes, imaginary or otherwise.